L'shana Tova

Our wish for a sweet, happy and healthy New Year is turbo charged this year. Wishing powerful healing to brother Tim, Marilyn Knowles and Grandma Lenore. I am confident that this New Year will bring me wellness and perhaps some patience in getting there.

Ann Denz sent this wonderful New Year's prayer that I wanted to share with all of you

May you enjoy your apples and honey!
May you find it easy to give and receive
May you know when to surrender, and do so with grace
May you remember that some people's lives are parched dry... and be grateful for the abundance in yours
May you find beauty in unexpected places.
May you carry your loads with ease amid sweetness
May you learn and teach well.
May you move with as much joy and ease as you can
May your home be filled with fresh air and light
May your tense and angry times be short-lived...
so that you come back quickly to your comfortable ol' self
May you be startled and delighted by new beginnings
May you find your uniqueness
May you enjoy your friends and hear beautiful music
May you come to the surface for air when you need it
May you take exquisite care of yourself
And may everything that hurts you also be a little funny (This is my favorite one)
Have a wonderful 5771!!

I have chemo on Monday and cousin Anita will join me. Thanks to my meditation coach I have a new attitude about it. All week I've said to people that next week I'd likely feel pretty miserable. My coach reminded me that a new narrative was in order. So, I am looking at the chemo as the process that heals me and I expect to feel better next week than I ever have after chemo. Thanks to reiki, breathing exercises I hope to hold on to the positive thinking. Just reread your blog posts from the last blog and feel ready to take this on thanks to all of your amazing energy.

Yes, I danced at the wedding and even made my sister in law Sue cry when she saw Jonathan and I dancing the jitterbug. Brother Joe informed me that he had the orthopedic surgeon on stand by. It was a giant burst of family and the hard part was saying good bye. Then I remembered a phrase from cousin John "Don't regret that it's over, be thankful that it happened". I was enormously thankful to be a part of this gorgeous celebration.

Expecting a visit today from dear friend Frank from Hawaii (also a proud member of the "I beat cancer" club- which I intend to join soon). Friend Deanne from DC will join us too. Tomorrow morning we are doing a walk for ovarian cancer which should be very powerful.

Road Trip

Lab results today gave us very good news. We were planning on going to Erie this weekend for a family wedding but had to make sure my white blood count was high enough. The count was 10 (anything over 4 would have been OK for me to make the trip) AND my CA125 cancer marker test was down by 50%! We now have another way to measure that the chemo is working. Looks like our road trip to Erie, time with my family and cousins and brothers is just what the doctor ordered. We are thrilled.

I struggle with fatigue - Doesn't take much to make me really tired and old standards of productively have to be abandoned. Easier said than done. Kristin has me waking almost every morning and this week we clocked 2.5 miles as our high and 1.2 miles as our low. We are very proud of ourselves. I usually take a 2 hour nap when I get home!.

Always trying to find that new normal. I am reminded that my body is working hard to fight this disease so the fatigue is to be expected. I went to a support group at Gilda's Club, another session with my meditation coach and a chanting circle at Temple Sinai last week. I am collecting tools to manage both the physical and psychological challenges that come with this disease.

Here is my scarf look- gorgeous silk scarf compliments of brother Joe who brought it back for me from China. Scarf tying tutorials upon request. As always, thanks for your cards and your posts, your prayers and your unrelenting care and concern- as you can see- it's working!

Missed and Missing

We will miss this summer as it fades into Autumn. It been a year of many events, good and bad, and I wish we had the opportunity to alter a few. Tim is missing his old hip as well as a few inches of arteries in his chest. It’s great to see him on the mend in ability and attitude. His winter goals include dogsled races where he will be pulling the dogs. We so dearly miss Pap Pap, but know his inspiration and strength lives on and gets us thru the day to day challenges. Just when we thought the storm clouds were passing , we received the news on MJ, which as it turns out provided another opportunity for her to demonstrate how an amazing attitude and optimism can slay any dragons. We look so forward to seeing her very soon, and are excited that she will be joining the Asper clan for the celebration of Kelly’s wedding this weekend in Erie PA.

We miss the wonderful visit we had from Sam and Zoe, but sadly we did need to return them as their Mom and Dad missed them tons. Speaking of tons, as a result of the Sam and Zoe visit we seem to be missing 12 boxes of Mac & Cheese, 11 Titleist Pro V’s, 10 quarts of Ice Cream, 9 Callaway X18 Irons, 8 cases of soft drinks, and our Pittsburgh BB marksman shot the partridge out of the pear tree.

Against the advice of Uncle Joe, the kids took a boat ride with Uncle Tim, who encourage them to participate in some questionable activities. Zoe relied on Sam to hang onto her by her life vest. Unfortunaltely it was a little too big!

When Zoe “surfaced” she promised to be more careful and asked cousin Catherine to watch out for her going forward, so they committed to milder activities such as a gentle game of jetski rodeo. If Mom only knew!

As of yesterday we are also missing Catherine, who felt the need to be off to Smith to keep up with the Jones’.

Ta Ta for now, its time to prepare for a weekend that we wouldn’t miss for anything. Love yunz, see you soon!

Down for the count

Nobody promises you symptom free chemo so today is my day to be down for the count. I am relieved and thankful that brother Joe suggested that the the kids stay with him til Monday - they will have a much better time in Boston and New Hampshire while I get better each day. Added attraction that Tim is on his way to Boston, so I know the weekend will be grand. Much gratitude to my amazing family.

This round is still better than the last one where I couldn't keep food down for 4 days. It feels more like a bad case of the flu- not fun, but tolerable and I expect to feel better tomorrow. Really loved reading all the blog posts from yesterday- made me smile today. Jonathan, as always, is taking such good care of me. His positive energy gets me through each day.

Day After Chemo

Had my appointment with Jeffrey today to shave my head and begin the exploration of life's many head adornment options. Kristin came with me and the wonderful energy in the studio made the time very empowering. Here is the first photo shoot with Jeffery and my new wig, It feels great and the whole experience was truly uplifting. It was a celebration of seizing control and knowing what matters.

Also having a surprisingly good day with little nausea and hope for the best tomorrow.

Chemo and Accessorizing

"It's been my experience that as long as we are correctly accessorized, we can pretty much face anything" - friend and author Denise Caruso.

I was able to get chemo yesterday because my white blood count bounced back to within the normal range (very good news). The distention in my abdomen is significantly better after only one treatment (more good news). I no longer worry that they will think I'm the oldest pregnant woman at MacGee Womens Hospital (even more good news). They gave me a new drug for nausea so here's hoping it helps me weather this round. Whoever thought that seeing the numbers on the scale go up would be GOOD news?

What does all this have to do with accessorizing? I decided yesterday morning to get dressed up for chemo - a look good, feel good sort of approach. I thought it might be time to alter what my husband described as the "straight from the shtetl" look (imagine a schmata on my head and loose fitting clothing). I even put on makeup and earrings and wore a pumpkin colored scarf with gold threads wrapped around my head several times. In the chemo waiting room, two women independently asked how I tied my scarf. Once inside, another woman asked too. Finally, a man came over. He wanted to know where I got my "headdress". He wanted to purchase one as a gift for his wife. He was amazed when I told that I did it myself. When I had to arrange a group tutorial, I knew my moment had arrived. In a room filled with people with cancer...you find joy in surprising places. Somehow it seems appropriate that my first contribution to the world of cancer patients would involve accessorizing.

I read a terrific article from the Huffington Post about the gender wage gap written by friend and colleague Joan Williams. When I put the article away I turned to check on the blog only to find a lovely comment from said Joan Williams. These connections astound me.

Chemo went well and Jonathan was my steady and comforting companion. I had a really good day yesterday, but last night I got anxious again. Fortunately, my newly learned breathing exercises help me move through the anxiety. I appreciate the good days and never take them for granted.

Brother Joe is hosting the kids till Monday - we miss them terribly...but know that the time with their aunt, uncle and cousins is allowing them to build lifelong connections. It brings me back to my summers with my own cousins, who now feature so prominently in my life. A recent visit from John and Heather a prime example.

I'm enjoying my time with Jonathan - we're beginning to reconnect with some projects that are particularly meaningful. Especially our documentary CHANGING THE FACE OF SCIENCE. As always, we're thankful for your support. By the way, we had Mexican last night from WHEEL DELIVER. Thank you, thank you, thank you. And thanks to Franny for the chicken soup. Yum.

Love MJ (and JR)

We plan. God laughs.

It's been a week of up and down around here. We spent the first part of the week taking care of work stuff, which went very well. Then, on Wednesday, we packed up the kids and shipped them off to New Hampshire. Thanks to the brilliant posts by brother Joe, we know that they've been having a blast on Lake Winnipesaukee. Sam has already begun lobbying for us to get a jet ski to use on the Monongahela. Somehow it doesn't seem like it would be the same.

MJ has been feeling pretty good overall. On Friday they called from Krivak's office with the news that her white blood cell count is down to 2 thousand cells / cubic millimeter of blood (normal is around 5 ). Based on that, they've postponed the chemo which was scheduled for next Monday - it's now scheduled for Monday the 30th. MJ has to steer clear of uncooked vegetables, and eggs (especially given the current salmonella egg crisis). And yesterday MJ spent a fair amount of time in the bathroom - she has asked to me to describe as her as being "indisposed" during that time. And she noticed clumps of hair coming out in the shower yesterday. So much for sailing through treatment number one unscathed or just barely scathed. It looks like we've more scathed than we were willing to admit.

Friday was also the day MJ had her first session with a mediation coach. They're using some breathing techniques to work through MJ's anxiety about all this. Good results so far. On Saturday, encouraged by dear friend Batia Rascoe, MJ took an hour-long walk around the Highland Park Reservoir. A big milestone for sure. And she made it to Rodef for the Saturday morning Shabbat service. So....not so bad.

The kids are due back on Thursday. We had planned for them to be out of town during MJ's second chemo, but God had another plan in mind. We're looking on bright side....another week to prepare for that second treatment. This week we'll be getting ready for school to begin, just like all of you. We'll keep you in mind...

Love,

MJ and JR

We Miss You

We are greatly enjoying Sam and Zoe this week, but miss having MJ and Jonathan here. Sounds like MJ's next round of Chemo will be delayed a couple of days, so hoping for as relaxing a week as can be expected in Pittsburgh. Jonathan and MJ's family member visits have been considerate and meaningful, however I expect the downtime is a blessing. Especially knowing thier children are in the calm and safe hands of brother Joe and Susan.

Speaking of safe hands, not sure how Sam grew the 2 new ones, but I expect they will be nice to have around the house the next few months. Sam and Catherine also went golfing yesterday, and had a great time. Lot of mumbling when I asked them how they scored. My suspicion is they played incredibly well, but did not want to compromise negotiating position for the up and coming family match.


Zoe enjoyed the boating, but initially decided to take a more passive role as a boat model. She enjoys the lake, and today we hope to get her engaged in a few more water activities. At the end of the day she jumped in and assisted Susan in all aspects of preparing a wonderful dinner after watching 2 episodes of Ratchel Ray. The teamwork resulted in a memorable feast.

We hope for another great day today and hope to get a visit from Karen and Mike - MJ's friends from Oakland. They and daughter Annie and are visiting NH and staying right down the road.


Uh-Oh - Zoe just got up and asked to go out on the Jet ski this morning. Do you want to go now? No, she replied, I want to wait intill Catherine gets up and go with her, because there will be no room on it with your big butt! So now she can safely go out instead with someone who is not up for the safe driver award. Will keep you posted.




Joe & Sue

New England Adventure

The Belmont Tocci's have the pleasure of spending a few days with Sam and Zoe this week. They arrived intact last night, and Sam assisted us with cleaning out the refrigerator before heading north to New Hampshire this morning. It was OK when Sam grew taller than I when he was about 10, but I didn't expect to be eye to eye with Zoe quite yet.

On the way home from the airport we informed Zoe that we had disconnected the internet from our houses, and it would be a quiet week with no game's, TV and computers. She slapped me on the back ot the head while driving (I was driving at this point, not Zoe), and told me that was not possible. I asked her why, and she said we must have the internet, otherwise how would we be able to ever book airline tickets or buy clothes. I didn't have a good answer for that one.

We hope MJ has the opportunity to relax while have the pleasure of enjoying some wholesome outdoor activities with the kids. Today might be limited to biking down Mount Washington and possibly some cave diving in the lake. After that we will enjoy an nice dinner of lard fried hotdogs wrapped in bacon, dipped in Mayo. MJ - Wish you were here! If thing go well with Sam and Zoe maybe Joey and Catherine will try some of this stuff too.

Really looking forward to spending time with the kids, circumstances have resulted in Sam being asked to mature beyond his years, and he has grown into an amazing adult. However the plan this week is for us all to be kids again.

Love and kisses to our Pittsburgh Parents and....

Let the games begin!

MJ calls it nesting.

Another good day. Working around the house, hanging pictures and so forth. It's good to get caught up in this kind of stuff. Theraputic. MJ calls it nesting.

We got Zoe situated for Wednesday's webcast, so we're all set for now.

Later...

JR