A year ago today I was diagnosed with cancer; time flies when you are having fun. It has been a hell of a year.
I am in remission and plan to stay here for some time.
Statistically there is a 70% recurrence rate with my diagnosis so I am on Avastin which inhibits angiogenesis, the process by which new blood vessels develop and carry vital nutrients to tumors. It's ironic that I got through chemo with relative ease (emphasis on the relative) but the avastin is causing me some significant side effects, the most profound of which is muscle pain.
My oncologist suggested tylenol (are you kidding me? Do you really think I needed you to suggest tylenol? ) Meanwhile I'd already tried reiki, acupuncture, chiropractic, massage, yoga, tylenol, advil and some stronger pain killers. Initially nothing seemed to help but I've maintained the reiki and massage and I think the muscle pain is getting slightly better.
I switched to another oncologist but my options are limited. My plan is to give the avastin another month and see if the side effects are tolerable. If not, I'll switch to a maintenance dose of taxol which means I'll lose my hair again. Too bad since it is not only cute but hardly gray. Who could have guessed that outcome? I've been dyeing it for so many years I had no idea what color it was.
I had an outrageous phone call with Genetech (who makes avastin) who refused to talk to me because I was taking the drug "off label". The RN treated me like a criminal. Avastin has not yet been approved for ovarian cancer ( I reminded her that there are clinical trials going on now). The RN, who was not the most resourceful person I've spoken to recently, flat out refused to give me any information. I assured her that I was not buying the drug on ebay and was using it under a doctor's orders but she was not persuaded. Apparently my internist didn't have much better luck when he called them. Both Genetech and my oncologist would prefer I keep my side effects to myself.
So a year later I am building a negotiation institute for women at Carnegie Mellon University, working on a fascinating gender research project with a group of remarkable women that will likely be a book, teaching negotiations at the Heinz School at Carnegie Mellon in the spring and getting back up to speed with training the navy lawyers through my company Trial Run. A reinvention is in the works. I am grateful to be here, astounded at my good fortune to have a most beloved circle of family and friends who inspire me and teenagers who keep me humble. More to come !
