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Monday, February 14, 2011

Valentine's Extravaganza


As I was anxiously awaiting my CT results on Valentine's Day, I emailed my oncologist to see what he knew.
His email response: "CT scan looks good" .
I stared at the words and wondered what he meant- Is my tumor smaller, gone, doing the polka? I was looking for words like "clean", "no tumor" "cancer took a hike". I had no idea how to interpret this vague message from Dr. Gloom and Doom. Oncologists are not known for their positive outlook on test results.

I write back "Am I in remission?"

He responds "Yes".

WOW!

So we have arrived a the place I have imagined for so long;
a new phase of this incredible journey - no more chemo (for a while) and back to our version of a normal life. Words like unbelievable- miraculous-and finally come to mind. I am mindful that your support has gotten me to this moment. I remain grateful and energized by your posts and calls. We are celebrating and planning the remission party. Hope you can be there.


WOW

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Look at what chemo did to my hair!!!

When they said my hair would grow back differently who knew? Funny how black and gold just works for everyone. Or perhaps I should say, most everyone. I wore this to the grocery store today and people were taking my picture and asking if they could pose with me. My other wigs were much more expensive but never got nearly this much attention. A few hours till game time and the burg is in fine form. There is of course a two hour delay for school tomorrow.

Thankfully I am all done with my scheduled chemo! Sam came with me for my last treatment which was the perfect way to wrap up this phase. My CT scan and other labs are scheduled for valentines day with results soon thereafter. If the CT scan is clean then we start planning the remission party. If not, I've signed up for 3 more rounds (9 treatments). I am very optimistic.

Sam did an amazing documentary for his science class on the effects of attitude on outcomes for cancer. He did research and interviewed me, my oncologist, my chemo nurse, a behavioral scientist and a cancer researcher who is also a breast cancer survivor. We both learned so much. We started with the view that attitude must effect outcomes and we wanted to believe it was true. We realized how this approach could also suggest that people who don't make it lacked the "fighting spirit" or right attitude. The medical literature includes studies examining the possibility that positive characteristics like optimism, spirituality and being a compassionate person are associated with good health.

According to Richard Sloan, writing for the New York Times, "there’s no evidence to back up the idea that an upbeat attitude can prevent any illness or help someone recover from one more readily. On the contrary, a recently completed study of nearly 60,000 people in Finland and Sweden who were followed for almost 30 years found no significant association between personality traits and the likelihood of developing or surviving cancer. Cancer doesn’t care if we’re good or bad, virtuous or vicious, compassionate or inconsiderate. Neither does heart disease or AIDS or any other illness or injury."

It does seem that attitude and behavioral interventions can affect how one tolerates surgery and treatment. I know that it has for me. I also know that my consistently positive attitude is directly related to all the support I have received from Jonathan, my kids, brothers, extended family and friends. I have also taken advantage of traditional and nontraditional resources (yoga, reiki, meditation) which have helped me stay positive. I remain grateful for my miraculous recovery.

Will keep you posted.